Republicans are the Chicago Bears of Politics and it Sucks

“You wanna make a trade?” An old co-worker and friend, a Niners fan, texted me after the first day of the NFL Draft had concluded. Having only heard what the Bears did in the first round, I replied “Huh?”. He clarified the terms, “I’ll give you a dollar bill for a hundred dollar bill. ‘Cuz that’s what the 49ers did to your Bears”. I replied with what any reasonable person would’ve: “Fuck you.”

In case you missed it, the Chicago Bears traded two third round picks and a fourth round pick to move up one spot to second and draft a relatively unknown quarterback they could’ve drafted from their third spot anyway. Right after signing such stellar talents at the quarterback position as Mike Glennon and Mark Sanchez and releasing Chicago Public Enemy Numero Uno Jay Cutler (who I was fan of), why in hell the Bears picked Mitchell Trubisky, a one year starter who gave up his last year of eligibility to go pro, is still debated and will be debated for a while. For a life long fan used to defending the poor choices of my team, more than anything else, the trade was embarrassing.

Via Deadspin:

But we don’t have to wait four years to laugh at the Bears bidding against themselves to grab the No. 2 pick from the 49ers, or at the confusion in Chicago that led to the deal being a total surprise to Trubisky, to head coach John Fox, and to Mike Glennon, who had been asked to attend the team’s draft party and learned he will be an expensive stopgap at the same time everyone else did. (Glennon is reportedly pissed off about that.)

Like everything else over-politicized since the 2016 election cycle, the parallels between my beloved Chicago Bears and GOP have become abundantly clear. Both are organizations that, through a toxic pattern of personnel mismanagement, leave even their most reasonable fans vehemently defending its poor decisions despite utter disappointment. With Chicago as progressive as it is, parallels made between the drafting of Mitchell Trubisky and the election of Donald J. Trump are no doubt reprehensible comparisons to many of its residents. But for a Bears fan who caucused for John Kasich in the hopes the GOP would head in another direction, the Trubisky debacle and the inability for an in-government GOP to actually govern are the latest in a string of disappointments that we can no longer defend.

In the same way the Bears seemingly shoot themselves in the foot, Republicans are now making absolute fools of themselves trying to repeal Obamacare at all costs while Trump’s cornerstone executive orders lose in court. Bears head coach Lovie Smith, whose defense took Rex Grossman to a Super Bowl, wasn’t perfect but he was more than sufficient for the time being. The Bears replaced him with “offensive guru” Mark Trestman the Nerd the same way the GOP now wants to replace Obamacare with whatever iteration of failure they’ve drafted this week.

The difference between football and politics, however, is that it’s much easier to change your vote than it is to change your favorite team. That’s bad news come 2018 for a Republican Party that, despite its lip service the past 8 years, is thus far largely inept at anything other than even more lip service about how great our new starting quarterback will be. I’ll admit I voted and supported Trump once he won the nomination and I’ll support Glennon, Trubisky, or whoever else starts for my Bears too. But if shit hits the fan mid-season you can bet I’m going to stop watching in favor of day dreams of our glory days in the ’80s.

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